Shake Off the Old: A Sassy AF Guide to Cleansing Your Space and World for a Fresh Start!

Shake Off the Old - Bring in the NEW!

Ready to kick some energy ass and make room for a fresh new you? Whether you're stepping into the mystical world of spirituality for the first time or you're a seasoned sage-burning pro, this blog is your go-to guide for a freaking epic cleansing journey. We're talking about smudging, physical purging, and all the sassy shit to get your space – and your life – ready for a reboot. Let's dive in, you magnificent mofos!

Light That Sage, Baby!

First let’s talk smudging.

Picture this: you, swaying to your favourite tune, waving a bundle of sage like you're conducting the universe's coolest damn orchestra. Sage has been used for centuries to clear out the negative bullshit and make room for the good vibes. Start by lighting one end of your sage bundle and let that smokey bitch do its thing.

As you wander through your space, imagine that smoke is your Robin, coz your totally Batman, kicking negativity to the damn curb. Open those windows and let that stale energy fly out like it owes you money. Don't forget those corners – negative vibes love to hide there. And voila! Your space is now a zen wonderland, ready for the magic you're about to unleash, you magical mofo.

Closet Cleanse: Say Goodbye to Wardrobe Woes

Now, bring the fashionista vibes. It's time for a closet cleanse, darling! Jump on into that treasure trove of outfits and start tossing anything that doesn’t scream 'confidence' or 'fabulous.' If it's been sitting there since the Stone Age (well, almost), it's time to let it go. Give away what no longer serves your style or donate it to a worthy cause. You're not just decluttering; you're spreading good vibes through your threads, you generous Queen!

As you sift through your clothes, feel the energy of each piece. If something makes you feel like a fucking rockstar, keep it. If it's dragging you down like a lead balloon, it's outta there! Bonus points for doing a little dance as you strut in front of the mirror – after all, who said cleansing can't be also fun?

Cupboard Catastrophe Cleanup

Now that your wardrobe is on point, let’s tackle the kitchen chaos. Open those damn cupboards and confront the clutter. We're not just talking about expired snacks (although those are top priority); it's time to let go of the emotional baggage hiding behind those canned goods.

Throw away those questionable condiments, and as you do, imagine yourself tossing away any negativity or resentment that's been lurking in your life. Make space for nourishing foods that love your body back. Arrange your pantry like it's a work of art – organized, beautiful, and filled with positive bloody energy. Your kitchen is now a sanctuary of delicious vibes, you’re welcome!

Crystal Clear Intentions

Time to sprinkle some funky crystal magic! Gather your favourite crystals – whether it's the calming amethyst or the grounding hematite – and let them join the cleansing party. Hold each crystal in your hand, close your eyes, and set your fucking intentions. What energy are you inviting into your life? Love? Success? Infinite sassiness? Charge those babies up with your goals and let them work their sparkling fairy fart magic.

Place your charged crystals strategically around your space. By doing so, you're creating a crystal fortress of positivity. And remember, every time you catch a glimmer of those crystals, let it serve as a reminder of the awesome energy you're manifesting.

Affirmations and Laughter: The Dynamic Duo

Now, let’s spice things up with some affirmations. Stand in front of the mirror, channel your inner diva, and declare your intentions like you're accepting an award. Repeat after me: "I am a fucking force of fabulousness, and my energy attracts only the amazing and gorgeous things!" Add your own sassy spin, and watch how your reflection sparkles with newfound but deep confidence.

And because laughter is absolutely the best fucking medicine, sprinkle some humour into your cleansing routine. Put on your favourite stand-up special or a hilarious podcast. Laughter is a powerful cleanser, washing away stress and tension. Plus, who said spiritual practices had to be serious all the time? Let your laughter echo through your freshly cleansed space. Nothing more uplifting than hearing or feeling that true belly laugh!

Breathe In, Slay Out

Finish your cleansing extravaganza with a deep breath in and a powerful exhale. As you inhale, visualize positivity flooding every damn inch of your being. With each exhale, release any lingering negativity. You're not just breathing; you're fucking slaying!

And there you have it, you fabulous sparkling soul! Your space is cleansed, your vibes are high, and you're ready to conquer the world with your newfound sassy energy. Embrace the fabulousness, keep the positivity flowing, and remember – life is too short for anything but good vibes and questionable dance moves!